Washerless Faucets

OK.  So what is the deal with washerless faucets?
To start with, open one up and the first thing you will notice is that they are far from washerless.  As a matter of fact, the last one I replaced had not one, not two but three washers I was immediately able to see.  And, get this, when the sales clerk at my local big box store showed me how to disassemble it, there were two more washers, for a grand total of (are you keeping track?) five washers lurking in the innards of my washerless faucet.

Now these things are supposed to come with a lifetime guarantee.
So why is it that every time I've owned one, either by installing it myself or having it come with a property, they leak.  I would have thought that this was what they weren't supposed to do.  Apparently, the guarantee means that you will never have to pay for parts to replace a leaking washerless faucet.  Whether or not they will ever leak, for all intents and purposes, appears to be irrelevant.
Terrific.
But wouldn't you, like me, assume that a guarantee on a product means that the product will always do what it is supposed to do?  In this particular case, keep all the water on one side of it until you want it on the other side?  Sounds reasonable.  Ya think?
As it turns out, this must not be what companies that manufacture these miracle faucets were thinking when they designed their products.  Apparently, they wanted to encourage that 'feel good' sense when you go through all the frustration of knowing you paid big bucks for a fool proof faucet only to find it leaks eventually just like the cheapie you could have bought in its place.
Four or five years after building a fort of drywall and tile around this monster of a mechanism you're ranting and raving while you tug at now seized fittings to expose the complex and unrecognizable innards of your leaking technological marvel, wondering all the while if you maybe should have called in a professional.  Then you troop doggedly on down to your nearest big box store to pick up the part you think you need only to be told at the checkout that there is no charge.
"No charge?" you say.
"No charge," you are told.
"No charge," you repeat.
Of course!
There is a lifetime guarantee.
Suddenly your heart is full.
You are no longer the raving lunatic who entered the plumbing section ready for a fight.
On the contrary, you feel so wonderful as you bask in your good fortune that daisies could sprout from your ears for all to enjoy.
This is how they keep you coming back folks.
Trust me.
I've purchased and installed AND repaired virtually every make and model of these washerless beasties and its always the same story.
Oh yes.
Eventually, it's gonna leak.
But boy-oh-boy are you ever gonna feel good when you get to fix it with new parts that are all free.