PIZZA. Nature's perfect food!

Well, something I have long suspected has, in fact, turned out to be true.
Pizza, long recognized as nature's perfect food, has now been proven to save lives.

Face it, regardless of what you may have heard, it is indeed, the perfect food.
All the major food groups are represented.
No animals were used in testing
and no rainforest was destroyed to produce it
(discounting the takeout box which I never eat although I have been known to lick off the excess cheese).

And now it seems that pizza can save lives; at least one so far.
Apparently, there is an elderly lady right here in my home province who has, for the last few years, ordered a pizza to be delivered from the same establishment every single night at the same time.
A few weeks ago, she did not put in her regular telephone order.
An erstwhile employee, recognizing that her usual phone order had not yet come in, contacted the authorities.
Upon investigating they found that the woman had taken a fall at home and was unable to call for help.
Thanks to pizza, she was found in time and rescued.
Thanks to pizza she is alive and well today.

I am overwhelmed by a sense of vindication.
All you diet fiends and naysayers move aside.
Like red wine, the double short espresso and dark chocolate before it
pizza has finally joined the ranks of true health foods.